Growing a beard creates a masculine appearance. Just as soldiers like to wear a mustache. A beard in the military is just awkward. Especially with a gas mask on, you are totally out of luck. For those who have been in military service or are professional soldiers know this.
At the time the ticker of this article was in the service, a beard was forbidden. When you were on call, the Sergeant-Major always came by with a cotton ball. And if a wisp of white was left on the cheek or chin, the whole platoon could be dismounted. To the bathroom. ALL again with the knife.
But the real challenge: A beard and food. Those are often very uncomfortable combinations. Here's a tip: make sure you have a good beard shampoo in your sights. Without it, you're screwed. If you want to remove the garlic sauce. Without killing your beard.
What is the most awkward food when you wear a beard?
Of course, we could make a whole list of those. And we're just going to do that, too. Share our experiences on how best to bunker down harmlessly without harming your beard. It always looks so awkward when you are in a Mexican restaurant and the black beans find their way 1 by 1 into your beard hairs. That they spin around to the inside of the beard to snuggle up there with their peers.
Or how about a gyros complex. That, like a stricken Hamilton, you mis-coordinate and, as a result, the fork with a load of grilled meat including tzatziki pulsates into your beard. Try flaking that out cleanly. Can't hurt if you consume our article"The most common mistakes that damage your beard. Right, let's list the most embarrassing beard stuffing mistakes.
Top 10 most awkward foods when you have a beard
We could easily make it a top 40 but then it would be a very long article. So let's tackle the most awkward bites:
1. Pea soup
If you have a (short) beard, try to eat a thick pea soup. 9 out of 10x in the first few bites you'll have a green surprise hanging in your beard. And those beard hairs are not such a fan of that melted pea paste. Other soups with strings are just as awkward.
Tip: Get going with a smaller spoon. Less volume and better to navigate. Most people eat soup with those big spoons but that's just awkward.
2. Spareribs
And especially the lacquered versions. With one of those syrup coatings. Those are extremely tasty but also extremely awkward if you don't have a beard or mustache. You very quickly become a Captain Kleefman. So after a session of chopping spareribs, don't think you can cup your girlfriend. Perhaps a refreshing beard tonic, after you clean the beard, will provide some relief.
Tip: There is only one thing to do here: that is eat spare ribs with knife and fork. No munching for Sir. But neatly navigating with the fork to bring small pieces of roasted rib to the gnashing carnivorous teeth of yours.
3. Half a chicken
Here, basically the same thing applies as with spareribs. Use knife and fork. Of course, things can go wrong even then but if you start munching on a chicken leg in possession of a (thick) beard, that's asking for heartbreaking deli mess. The spices and pieces of chicken skin skin cling to your beard hairs. With no way you can munch chicken without ruining your beard. There are only drawbacks to that, too.
Tip: Cutlery so!
4. Hot meat sandwich with satay sauce
After a night out, there is nothing tastier than a hot meat sandwich with peanut sauce from a good snack temple. Those guys also usually put very generous satay sauce over the steaming fricandeau. Naturally, your primal instinct roars that you want to graze. Den teeth have to go in. Can you do. That after the first bite already those hot strands of peanut sauce infiltrate your beard.
Tip: No hot meat sandwich with satay sauce. Just have a roll with young cheese and a salad bla'. Sorry.
5. Indian with ample curry sauce
By itself, you can consume Indian just fine. With cutlery you can do it just fine. Without turning the beard into a cabinet of curiosities. Of course navigate well with fork or spoon and then in principle nothing can go wrong. There is 1 but: and that's the curry. This yellow spice is disastrous for your beard and mustache.
Tip: If you don't want to be addressed with, "Hi Yellowstone" the next day, we recommend that after eating a dish with curry, make your way to the bathroom as soon as possible to rinse the beard thoroughly.
6. Spaghetti
Especially if you don't know how to devour this Italian pasta, it becomes a tricky story. After all, there is a certain technique involved here. If you find yourself grazing like a 3-year-old on a bowl of tomato pasta, it's bound to go wrong. Pasta strings, ample tomato sauce and chunks of minced meat are suddenly steaming props in your spaghetti western beard....
Tip: Eat like the Tuscans do. So with a fork, prick the pasta out of the plate and swirl it around in your spoon. Then it's a nice compact whole and you can shove it in bloodlessly and with policy. Bellissimo!
7. Unpeeled large shrimp in garlic olive oil
Challenge number seven. It is already a drama without a beard to nibble this sieve fruit unblemished received inside. With a beard, it becomes a tricky exercise. When you proceed manually, the hot oil with all its spices present drips smoothly into that crispy beard of yours. With knife and fork, you can shake it anyway.
Tip: Omit the boiling hot unpeeled shrimp. Unpeeled they are tasty, too. From one of those sizzling tapas bowls. Fork. Prick. Navigation. Hops.
8. Cheese fondue
Who doesn't love it. 12 kinds of cheese fondue! With ample garlic, chili pepper and a formidable sauvignon blanc inside. And then like Knight Lancelot go poking around in that fragrant cheese mass. With fresh baguette or various blanched greens. So far, no issue. But then: the bread dipped in the red-hot cheese has to go to the grinding jaws. And that's when it goes wrong. With some 30 centimeters of cheese goo plunging onto your beard. No saving it.
Tip: Be sure to land the bread or carrot with steaming cheese on your plate first. When it is a homogeneous mass you can use fork and knife to maneuver le pain and the melted cheese inside. C'est Tout!
9. Dame Blanche
With ice cream alone it usually goes pretty well. Yes, not in summer with an oublie horn and 4 balls of stracciatella that will fatten your beard hairs while leaking. No, we're talking about a fancy 1970s ice cream usually served in crystal. Whipped cream to the max and then it comes: the hot chocolate sauce. So far. To morgon!
Tip: you can consume such a dessert but with caution. So again, with the right tools: spoon and fork. And don't catapult it down your throat like a sugar-fuelled 13-year-old Ruben... No. Quietly and with care.
10. Fruit yogurt
Whether you eat fruit yogurt, cinnamon/bittersweet custard or thin cottage cheese. Your beard already startles when you walk to the refrigerator and see that you conjure up such a pack. The moment you grab the spoon, the blood pressure of the hair follicles goes to dangerous levels. Desserts and beards.
And especially the custard and yogurt varieties. This is often a battle. You know the joke about vanilla custard and a bouvier, right? If you don't wash the beard quickly with a good beard shampoo, that sour dairy smell lingers extremely. There you go, Huub Hangop.
Tip: prefer not to or very carefully with the spoon. Also, sit tight. Caution prevails. Relaxed so. Then you can avoid the greatest damage.
In conclusion
Of course, there are many other dishes that are very awkward to eat when you have a beard. It's awkward anyway. Take your time and use cutlery in most cases. There are no beard napkins yet to position those over a beard and the mustache. Or are we coming up with a luminous idea now? Anyway, be careful and save your beard. The most important thing is to take good care of it after eating.
A very good protection is, of course, beard oil, beard balm or beard wax. With these you coat the beard and it can take a beating. Aside from the fact that with these, you just had to nourish and moisturize the beard.
Good luck with good food and that you still take good care of your beard at the same time!
Greetings,
Your friends, The Alpha Men.