Letting a Beard grow gives a masculine appearance. Just like soldiers who like to wear a Moustache. A Beard in the army is just inconvenient. Especially with a gas mask on, you are completely out of luck. Those who have served in the military or are professional soldiers know this.
When the writer of this article was in service, a Beard was forbidden. If you were at roll call, the Sergeant-Major would always pass by with a cotton ball. And if a strand of White was left on the cheek or chin, the whole platoon had to fall in again. To the Bathroom. ALL of them had to go at it again with the razor.
But the real challenge: A Beard and eating. These are often very awkward combinations. We'll give you a tip right away: make sure you have a good Beard Shampoo in your sights. Without Beard Shampoo, you're in trouble. If you want to remove the garlic sauce. Without ruining your Beard.
What is the most inconvenient food when you have a Beard?
Of course, we could make a whole list of that. And we will. We share our experiences on how to best eat damage-free without your Beard falling victim. It always looks so awkward when you're sitting in a Mexican restaurant and the black beans find their way one by one into the beard hairs. They spin their way to the inner part of the Beard to nestle comfortably with their kind.
Or what do you think of a gyros complex? That you, like a shaken Hamilton, miscoordinate and thus the fork with a load of grilled meat, including tzatziki, pulses into your Beard. Try to neatly pick that out. It doesn't hurt to consume our article 'The most common mistakes that damage your Beard'. Right, let's list the most embarrassing beard fillers.
Top 10 most inconvenient foods when you have a Beard
We could easily make a top 40, but then it would be a very long article. So let's tackle the most difficult bites:
1. Pea soup
Try with a (short) Beard to neatly finish a thick pea soup. 9 out of 10 times, with the first few bites, you have a green surprise hanging in your Beard. And those beard hairs are not such fans of that melted pea paste. Other soups with strands are just as inconvenient.
Tip: Make sure to use a smaller spoon. Less volume and easier to navigate. Most people eat soup with those large spoons, but that's just inconvenient.
2. Spareribs
Especially the glazed versions. With such a syrup coating. They are incredibly tasty but also extremely tricky even if you don't have a Beard or Moustache. You quickly become a Captain Sticky. So after a session of spareribs, don't think you can kiss your girlfriend. Perhaps a refreshing beard Tonic, after you have cleaned the Beard, might offer some relief.
Tip: There is only one solution here: eat spareribs with a knife and fork. No gnawing for the gentleman. But neatly navigating with the fork, bringing small roasted rib pieces to the gnashing carnivorous teeth.
3. Half a chicken
The same applies here as with spareribs. Use a knife and fork. Of course, it can also go wrong, but if you gnaw on a chicken leg while possessing a (thick) Beard, you're asking for a heartbreaking delicacy mess. The spices and pieces of chicken skin cling to your beard hairs. There's no way you can gnaw on chicken without ruining your Beard. That also only has disadvantages.
Tip: Use cutlery!
4. Warm meat sandwich with satay sauce
After a night out, there's nothing better than a hot meat sandwich with peanut sauce from a good snack temple. Those guys usually put a lot of satay sauce over the steaming fricandeau. Of course, your primal instinct roars that you want to graze. The teeth must go in. You can do that. After the first bite, those hot strands of peanut sauce infiltrate your Beard.
Tip: No warm meat sandwich with satay sauce. Just take a roll with young cheese and a salad, bla'. Sorry.
5. Indian with plenty of curry sauce
In itself, you can consume Indian food just fine. With cutlery, it's perfectly doable. Without turning the Beard into a cabinet of curiosities. Of course, navigate well with a fork or spoon, and then nothing should go wrong in principle. There is one but: and that's the curry. This yellow spice is disastrous for your Beard and Moustache.
Tip: If you don't want to be addressed as 'Hi Yellowstone' the next day, we advise you to head to the Bathroom as soon as possible after eating a dish with curry to rinse the Beard thoroughly.
6. Spaghetti
Especially if you don't know how to consume this Italian pasta, it becomes a tricky story. A certain technique is involved here. If you dive into a bowl of tomato pasta like a 3-year-old grazing, it will definitely go wrong. Pasta strands, plenty of tomato sauce, and chunks of minced meat suddenly become steaming props in your spaghetti western Beard…
Tip: Eat as the Tuscans do. So with a fork, you pick the pasta from the plate and twirl it around in your spoon. Then it becomes a nice compact whole, and you can slide it in bloodlessly and with care. Bellissimo!
7. Unpeeled large shrimp in garlic olive oil
Challenge number seven. It's already a drama to receive this seafood unblemished without Beard. With a Beard, it becomes a tricky exercise. When you work manually, the hot oil with all Hair present herbs flows smoothly into that crispy Beard of yours. With a knife and fork, you can shake it anyway.
Tip: Leave the boiling hot unpeeled shrimp as they are. Unpeeled, they are also tasty. From such a sizzling tapas dish. Fork. Prick. Navigation. Hop.
8. Cheese fondue
Who doesn't love it. 12 types of cheese fondue! With plenty of garlic, a pepper, and a formidable sauvignon blanc inside. And then poke into that fragrant cheese mass like Sir Lancelot. With fresh baguette or various blanched vegetables. So far, no issue. But then: the bread dipped in the piping hot cheese must go to the grinding jaws. And then it goes wrong. With such a 30-centimeter cheese strand that plunges onto your Beard. No saving it anymore.
Tip: Make sure the bread or carrot with steaming cheese lands on your plate first. If it's a homogeneous mass, you can maneuver le pain and the melted cheese inside with fork and knife. C'est Tout!
9. Dame Blanche
With ice cream alone, it usually goes quite well. Yes, not in the summer with a waffle cone and 4 scoops of stracciatella that are already dripping and fattening your beard hairs. No, we're talking about a chic 1970s ice cream that is usually served in crystal. Whipped cream to the max, and then comes the hot chocolate sauce. That's it. Until tomorrow!
Tip: you can enjoy such a dessert but with caution. So again, with the right instruments: a small spoon and fork. And not catapulting it inside like a sugar-fueled Ruben of 13... No. Calm and with caution.
10. Fruit Yogurt
Whether you eat fruit yogurt, cinnamon/bitter almond custard, or thin quark. Your Beard already gets startled when you walk to the fridge and see you pull out such a pack. The moment you pick up the spoon, the blood pressure of the hair follicles rises to dangerous levels. Desserts and beards.
And especially the custard and yogurt variants. That's often a battlefield. You know the joke about vanilla custard and a bouvier, right? If you don't wash the Beard quickly with a good beard shampoo, that sour dairy smell lingers extremely. There you go, Huub Hangop.
Tip: preferably not or very carefully with the spoon. Also, sit down properly. Caution is key. Relaxed, that is. Then you can prevent the biggest damage.
In Conclusion
Of course, there are many more dishes that are very awkward to eat if you have a Beard. It's difficult anyway. Take your time and use cutlery in most cases. There are no beard napkins yet to position over a Beard and the Moustache. Or are we coming up with a brilliant idea now? Anyway, be careful and save your Beard. The most important thing is to take good care of it after eating.
A very good protection is of course Beard Oil, Beard Balm or Beard Wax. With this, you coat the Beard and it can take a hit. Besides the fact that you should actually nourish and hydrate the Beard with this.
Good luck with enjoying your meal and at the same time taking good care of your Beard!
Regards,
Your friends, The Alpha Men.